Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Processing the Grief
Losing a child at any point in pregnancy is devastating. Some women loose their baby as a miscarriage, which occurs within the first 20 weeks of pregnancy. Some carry a baby longer than 20 weeks and it considered a stillbirth. It is hard to imagine that in the United States approximately 25,000 stillborn deaths occur each year (The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2017). Often these pregnancies are problem-free, which is one of the reasons this loss is so unexpected and devastating to the parents, families, friends, etc.
This type of grief will begin with a numbing shock. The shockwave will eventually fade into intense emotions with the core being pain. Parents need guidance and compassion during this entire process.
Huene’s suggests allowing the grief of this loss and the loss of hopes and dreams that parents carry from the moment they learn of the pregnancy (Tracy, 2017). Additionally, this trauma can be compounded by the reactions of other people (Tracy, 2017). Furthermore, Tracy explains, people are uncomfortable sitting in “the sad” with individuals. Do not rush the grief process (2017).
The American Pregnancy Association suggestions for dealing with the grief include:
- Talk to people about your pain
- Join a support group
- Write in a journal
- Consider doing something to honor your baby’s memory like creating a photo album or planning a tree in the baby’s memory
- Give yourself time to heal
- Seek professional help if needed- SureHope Counseling and Training Center has two locations and our therapists would be honored to “sit in your sad” with you please feel free to contact our website for more information. https://surehopecounseling.com
Helpful Books, Resource List, and Song
* Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy
- I Will Carry You – by Angie Smith
- A Rose in Heaven — by Dawn Siegrist Waltman
- I’ll Hold You in Heaven — by Jack W. Hayford
- Am I still a Big Sister? — by Audrey Bernheimer Weir and Susannah Hart Thomer
- http://media.focusonthefamily.com/topicinfo/miscarriage-pregnancy-loss.pdf
- Song- Perfect Way to Start – by Craig Aven
Support Groups
- Compassionate Friends:
- Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support:
- GriefNet:
- Hannah’s Prayer: (775) 852.9202.
- M.E.N.D. (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death):(972) 506.9000.
References
http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy-loss/stillborn-surviving-emotionally
Tracy, Amy (2017) How Families Grieve (and Commemorate) Lost Pregnancy. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/pre-born/pregnancy-and-infant-loss/how-families-grieve-and-commemorate-a-lost-pregnancy
Tracy, Amy (2017) Helping Others Deal with the Pain of Pregnancy Loss. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/pre-born/pregnancy-and-infant-loss/helping-others-deal-with-the-pain-of-pregnancy-loss
https://www.cdc.gov/features/pregnancy-infant-loss-day/index.html
-Debra Martin
