In my work with clients through the years, I have learned that the essence of most core wounds is value and worth. When we experience trauma and other negative events (especially in childhood) we are often injured at the level of our worth. What this means is that we experience ourselves as less valuable than we are. At a minimum, we have questions about how valuable or worthy we are.
When we question our worth, there are very recognizable ways that this plays out in our lives. It often comes in the form of poor boundaries around our time and commitments. In other words, we do not feel worthy to say no to others. It can also come in the form of harsh internal dialogue. This may look like being critical of ourselves (and others as a result). While it might not seem like it, a poor sense of worth and value can lead to other issues like increased anxiety and depression.
That’s the bad news. The good news is that Christmas is the embodiment of Good News. An injury to one’s sense of value and worth is an injury at the identity level. How we see ourselves is a function of who we are. That is the most important and encouraging part of what Christmas means.
Past the wonderful traditions that Christmas affords, there stands a life-changing truth. The truth is that the God of the universe is so loving that he sent his Son to be born to rescue us from this world. This fact says the most about Him and his attributes, but it has an important meaning for us as well. If God so loved us, that he sent Jesus to be born for us, we are of greater worth than we will ever know. The baby in the manger solves any questions we might have about our value. It is hard to comprehend the depth of God’s love for us. We cannot because we are not able to offer love to one another that is always unconditional. It is not always easy to allow this truth to permeate our beliefs about ourselves. This requires that we stay mindful of the truth. Even though Christmas has just passed, my prayer for us all is that we let its truth act as the well that we draw from for who we are and how much value we hold. In this way, we look forward to a new year living with secure identity and the love that flows from it.
-Mike Vaughn – Learn about working with Mike here!